I Just Watched (Films)

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Lennyquantum
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Re: I Just Watched (Films)

Post by Lennyquantum » Sat Jan 15, 2022 4:33 pm

Eternals
Surprised I made it through this in its entirety tis a soul sucking slog for the majority, aside from having two blatant DC character types in the form of Superman and The Flash respectively the best thing I can say about the movie is it at the very least felt somewhat different to your typical more recent MCU movie and I kind of dug the designs of the deviants. That is all the praise I can give it though, it's the drabbest looking cheaply made inadequately lit poorly ensembled cast Inhumans 2.0 looking bag of trash I do believe Marvel have produced to date, zero worthy plot zero surprising revelations. Every character outside of Ikarus and Gilgamesh are disposable add nothing to proceedings and all have differing accents which gave me severe whiplash.

Too many cooks spoil the broth the movie Marvel seriously need to reign things in as the more they churn out new movies the further they remove themselves from the early greatness they so deservedly achieved. Perhaps begin by finding better directors who actually have some knowledge or pedigree of the genre they are adapting rather than tapping literally anyone you can sign on the dotted line.

Fuck Sprite too, this isn't Borderlands or Harry Potter, fuck off you irritating little fuck.
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Raid
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Re: I Just Watched (Films)

Post by Raid » Sat Jan 15, 2022 9:46 pm

Eternals

It's not great.

I don't think I was as negative on this as Wrath and Lenny, but it's pretty poor as far as the MCU goes. I still think Shang Chi was worse, but it's infuriatingly dull, and doesn't really link into the rest of the series other than a very brief discussion of who should be leading the Avengers. It suggests that human accomplishment is the result of alien interference, and that aliens were present, or responsible for, all of our most famous mythological figures.

And then it doesn't do much to suggest that those responsible are remotely interesting. All of the Eternals bar one are dull as ditch water, and far too obvious an approximation of the Justice League (there's a very obvious Superman, a Flash and a Wonder Woman) to ignore.
Spoiler
The whole Celestial birth thing could have been interesting, but it's stopped before it really causes anything interesting to happen.
I don't really get the hate for Sprite though; what was wrong with her?

arqueturus
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Re: I Just Watched (Films)

Post by arqueturus » Sun Jan 16, 2022 5:11 pm

Eternals

I quite enjoyed it. It totally didn't work as part of the MCU though. I also found Angelina Jolie really out of place in it for some reason.Other than that it ticked along ok. Did it remind anyone else of Green Lantern?

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Raid
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Re: I Just Watched (Films)

Post by Raid » Sun Jan 16, 2022 5:20 pm

I'm struggling to think of an Angelina Jolie role where she didn't feel out of place - I think Tomb Raider is the only one. There's a quality to her face that I can't quite put my finger on, and she just doesn't look natural.

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Achtung Englander
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Re: I Just Watched (Films)

Post by Achtung Englander » Sun Jan 16, 2022 5:51 pm

apparantely she's nuts, like really crazy
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Alan
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Re: I Just Watched (Films)

Post by Alan » Sun Jan 16, 2022 6:35 pm

She made a convincing hacker.
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Rossell
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Re: I Just Watched (Films)

Post by Rossell » Mon Jan 17, 2022 2:14 pm

I thought she was alright in Wanted with James Mcavoy.

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ManBearSquid
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Re: I Just Watched (Films)

Post by ManBearSquid » Mon Jan 17, 2022 5:27 pm

The Naked Gun

Still such a fantastic film. Loved it as a kid, love it as an adult.

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Medicine Man
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Re: I Just Watched (Films)

Post by Medicine Man » Mon Jan 17, 2022 5:42 pm


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Animalmother
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Re: I Just Watched (Films)

Post by Animalmother » Mon Jan 17, 2022 6:17 pm

The 2nd film holds up really well, non-stop jokes from start to finish.

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ManBearSquid
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Re: I Just Watched (Films)

Post by ManBearSquid » Mon Jan 17, 2022 6:43 pm

Aye, the first two are amazing, while the third dips in quality even if it does still have a few good lines.

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Solitaire
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Re: I Just Watched (Films)

Post by Solitaire » Mon Jan 17, 2022 8:43 pm

Raid wrote:
Sun Jan 16, 2022 5:20 pm
I'm struggling to think of an Angelina Jolie role where she didn't feel out of place - I think Tomb Raider is the only one. There's a quality to her face that I can't quite put my finger on, and she just doesn't look natural.
I've struggled to find her attractive all these years because she looks so much like her father - especially her lips :shock: so that was a turn-off for me, at least. But I've learned to enjoy her in a few films, like "Wanted" that was just mentioned, and "Tomb Raider," which role she seems custom-built for.

The wacky personal life hijinks seem to me a mixture of Hollyweird theatrics and personality disorders.
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Wrathbone
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Re: I Just Watched (Films)

Post by Wrathbone » Sat Jan 22, 2022 8:23 am

Red Heat

I’d forgotten just how bad this is. It does have your typical Schwarzenegger entertainment value, but it’s mainly due to his ludicrously stony performance which comes across as less human than a terminator. There’s an air of desperation about the whole thing - random nudity for absolutely no reason, flimsy wisecracks from Jim Belushi that don’t land at all and half-hearted violence for the most part. Even James Horner’s soundtrack is crap, with half of it borrowed from Commando.

It’s an action comedy where the action is dull after the first 10 minutes and the comedy is non-existent. The closest Arnie gets to comedy is when he sees some porn on his hotel room TV, shakes his head and laments: “CAPITALISM”. Belushi is terrible in this, even considering what he has to work with. There’s one scene where he asks a criminal a question (his first question, so there’s no buildup), to which the criminal tells him to “kiss his mother’s behind”, and Belushi fucking loses it. :lol: His interrogations at the Chicago police department must go on for days as he has to nurse his wafer-thin skin every time a detainee looks at him funny.

I can’t even give it points for being overblown Reaganite anti-communist propaganda, because it only really amounts to Americans looking at Arnie and going “lol, Russia!” before he snaps them in half. There is a ‘stupid chief’ moment where the Soviet ambassadors tell him he’s failed and he has to get on a plane and go home immediately, but instead he goes and slaughters half of Chicago instead, so perhaps that counts as anti-Soviet defiance in the weirdest possible way.

4/10

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Raid
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Re: I Just Watched (Films)

Post by Raid » Sat Jan 22, 2022 8:43 am

Agreed on all counts bar the score; it's a 2/10 for me, I like a good bad film so long as it's entertaining, and Red Heat was just boring. It has barely anything at all going for it.

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Wrathbone
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Re: I Just Watched (Films)

Post by Wrathbone » Sat Jan 22, 2022 8:53 am

I’ll admit I granted it a point for the ridiculous opening scene in the Russian bathhouse, where men and women alike roam around in the nude pumping iron and grasping hot coals to prove how tough they are, which I’m convinced is exactly what Soviet Russia was like.

I also granted it a point for the fact that the film crew were refused permission to film in Red Square, so they ‘smuggled’ Schwarzenegger in and filmed him parading about in uniform on a home camera. I can’t imagine anything less discreet than Arnie marching around Red Square in a Soviet uniform, but apparently it happened!

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